My husband wants to know what the forum members say about the fact that he says that I’m over sensitive to comments.
Interesting question. I don’t have any answers. My husband says the same of me. Be interested in other’s thoughts too.
Anne
Hi anon
Can you give any examples, like the kinds of situations, what people say, who says it, and how you react? It would help to have a bit of context, as I’m not really sure what to say whether you are or not. One thing I will say, though, is that we’re all different, and different people will react in different ways. Things like your personality, past experiences, the kind of day you;re having, the nature of your relationship with someone, can all influence how you react. Someone may say something completely innocently, but if it touches a nerve in someone because of some unresolved identity issues, then they’re inevitably going to react to it. It helps to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. And that works both ways - understanding the life of someone you make a comment to, and also understanding the viewpoint of the person who makes a comment.
I also think an important factor on how sensitive we are to comments is how secure we feel. So for me, I increasingly get my security and identity in God. I know and trust more that I’m loved and accepted by him, which means it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to what others think. If someone makes some kind of negative comment, I consider if they have a point, and therefore maybe I need to apologise or change somehow. But if they done have a point, then I think ‘so what?’ Either way, I’m loved, even though I’m far from perfect. I’m not like that all the time of course, but it is something I’m slowly growing in.
Dan
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depends what has been said.
sometimes i tell myself that the other person is the one with a problem.
i don’t need to know what it is and don’t want to know either.
if i’m feeling exceptionally kind, i send them healing thoughts.
i’ve been really struggling to like my sister.
decided that i love her but don’t automatically have to like her.
oh it’s a tricky deal being a human!!
if at all possible i suggest that you rise above it, let it go and get yourself settled on the higher moral ground!