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Feeling down today woe is me......

I just wrote my profile and it’s hard writing reality:

Had MS since 89
Lately I’ve been feeling that it’s finally taking me over mentally and physically 
Got 3 kids
Don’t really have any friends 
All the parents of my kids have mostly high powered jobs so I feel embarrassed that I’m stuck at home
I’m getting depressed even writing this as reality raises its head when I see my life in black and white!

TimtheTrader,

I'm sure most of us, if not all of us, have had "woe is me" days. I definitely have. I try and fight back mentally. Forgive me if I use my 'weapon' using your profile. (Turning it upside down!)

Completely undeserved MS for nearly 30 years - you're doing amazingly well.

Three children, that's something so many would be truly envious of.

No high powered job but no work stresses and commuting. Masses would be green with envy. Just because it sounds as if others have the Perfect Life I bet you'd be very surprised if you knew the truth behind their closed doors. You've got time to do whatever you are able to.

Friends? They say that anyone with true friends is very lucky, most have acquaintances.You've got hundreds of virtual friends on this forum who understand and care.

Another of my weapons is during my feeling really down times is to remember that quote "Smile and the World smiles with you .."

Plaster on that smile you're amazing!smiley

Tippy x

hi tim

don't feel bad because other people have high powered jobs.

i did but my ms saw that off.

time is precious.

now i have time to stop and admire the sky (sky is my thing).

do you meet with any others with ms in real life?

i started a facebook group called ladies who lunch (LWL was formerly Ladies with lesions)

it is not women only but we only have one male member.

if you live anywhere near bolton (greater manchester) you are welcome to come along.

send me a private message if you wish.

make sure that you don't sink into depression, that is to be avoided at all costs.

carole x

 

I am on a leave from my great job now and fear i can not return. Who Im I with no job no family of my own good but troubled friends and MS eatting at my sole. I KNOW HOW USELESS MS CAN MAKE US FEEL I always,say the only rule is dont quit. I am a shell of myself I must get used to IT I DONT GET A NEW ONE

MS is a total pisser.  Nothing the matter with feeling that and knowing it, and goodness knows you have had plenty of time to form your opinion on the matter.

If you can, though, please try not to let yourself be pulled down the rabbit-hole of comparison with your children's parents with their big-shot jobs and their smart suits and their shiny new BMWs.  Maybe they are all as happy as clams.  Or maybe they have wives who want a divorce and contemptuous children who hate them and are up to their eye-brows in debt.  It is so easy to assume that they're in clover, and maybe they are, but maybe they're not.

I recently heard a wise man say (he was talking specifically about social media, but it's the same point) that you shouldn't compare your messy back-stage to someone else's sparkling front-of-house.  Isn't that just true?

I hope that tomorrow is a brighter day.

Alison  

Sorry if that earlier reply of mine reads like the sort of fatuous bromide that has never made anyone feel any better yet.

The thing I meant to say but didn't is that those of us with MS have drawn massive piece of bad luck out of life's bran-tub.  If we make a good life for ourselves, good for us, but it will be despite our health luck rather than because of it.  Make an OK life, and we can hold our heads high.

But what about the lucky people who have been blessed with good health, life's material riches etc?  How are they to feel when suddenly the cold winds blow and things don't go their way?  Terrible, that's how.  To have had all that luck and messed it all up?  Nightmare!  It is no accident that depression and even thoughts of self-destruction are frequent in the super-rich, and why not? - they know they have everything that money can buy, but they're STILL unhappy!  What an awful fate.  At least we're spared that one.  :-)

Alison

Re read what you've written Tim.  

Had MS since 89.   Is that the most important thing in the last 20 years?? 

I was diagnosed in 93, to put that in context.  In the last 20 years, I did a degree as a mature student - it was tough - only found out about the MS one year in. Bought up 2 wonderful kids. Got divorced, moved house - twice.  Met a lovely bloke online.  He's 20 years younger and also disabled, we moved in together last year.

I ain't wonderwoman by any measure.  You say you have no friends. Did you have friends before MS?  Do you go out at all, have any hobbies? Have a partner or significant other? You have to communicate with others and connect, to make friends.

MS is shite and it can be a game changer. But it ain't a life ender.