BUBBLE ADVICE (not soap)

OK I am in a quandary, me yes CC.

My eldest daughter started her own cleaning business and to support her new venture I gave her 3 hours a week to help me, i.e. shopping, taking to appointments, foot care (she is good at that lol), hair, basic care. some cooking etc.

Anyway with covid she has lost some cleaning clients and is fed up so actually has secured a job working with the same company as her husband works at in care. she has just passed all her exams for care, handling etc, and just waiting for crb check to come back before she starts.

SHE INSISTS on staying with me which means i still have to pay her 39.00 for the 3 hours. Well I am not happy. Not because of the money but because she is now going to be working closely with people who need full care every day will be someone knew. I don’t think safely she can be in my support bubble anymore. I wasn’t happy about it before but it was always the same clients who were elderly and in isolation so felt safer and we always used covid protocols.

Now i feel vulnerable as i know for a fact the boss of this company and other care workers have tested POSITIVE for covid as they get tested every week.

OK after my usual long missive my question is this.

Should I allow her to come anymore for the 3 hours?

I cant seem to get it through my daughters head that her new job will make me vulnerable OR AM I JUST over reacting?

so far i have been in lock down since MARCH 2020. I don’t want this disease I know its odds i will get it but i am very careful. even when i was rushed to hospital i avoided it lol.

Just would like your input.

stay safe all of you. xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi CC…mmm …a difficult one with her being your daughter.

I have carers who have other clients as well as me. One goes to a sheltered community place. She has had covid tests weekly and also the new vaccine. She wears full PPE there, but not with me.

If there was a positive covid test where your lass is going but it is negative now, after the usual quarantine, it should be safe. Have they all followed the quarantine rules strictly?

Boudsx

Yeh its difficult. its just i am nervous as 4 people i have known directly have DIED through covid and they all had care workers attending them. It has kind of made me nervous. even with tests. non of these people were able to go out. so not like they could have gotten it elsewhere.

they are new cases where my daughter will be working. I gave her furlough for a month anyway until end of this month as she was really tired rushing around and doing courses. so i have time to see how it pans out. Just these deaths have kind of shook me up i suppose.

thanks for input. xxx

Very difficult and complex situation. Families and money are always an interesting mix.

The help provided is presumably helpful but not essential? Would you need to find help from elsewhere? If so would the provider being similar risks?

If not could you explain your concerns to your daughter and ask that she stops coming to you after she starts her new job until say 3 weeks after your vaccination?

Sorry a very male response, but I have appreciated your very level headed approach.

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Hi CC

I had similar thoughts to crd.

  1. I assume you’ll still need the help your daughter gives you from elsewhere, what if a different cleaner/carer were to bring Covid to you?

  2. You are paying her £13 per hour. That doesn’t sound like she’s doing your cleaning/care at a cheaper rate because she’s your daughter. Thus, she’s an employee when she works for you. If you are her employer, then you have the choice as to whether she keeps coming to you, not her.

  3. You’ve been keeping yourself isolated since last March. That’s a long time to have stuck to strict personal rules. You don’t want to have wasted all that time staying away from people by getting Covid now.

  4. She’s your daughter, how would she feel if her new colleagues get Covid, she gets it then spreads it to you?

I think it’s your choice, if she were an unrelated cleaner/carer, you might feel regretful, but I presume you’d stop that person from coming to you? Is her financial situation any better now? Does she still need the money you’ve been paying her?

If you do indeed decide not to take the risk of her working so closely to you, you shouldn’t feel guilty. You take responsibility for yourself and other people should respect that.

Sue

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I agree with the points Sue made - aside from anything else your daughter would never forgive herself if she gave covid to you. She may also feel that she would be letting you down if she stopped coming to you. I think you are going to need a chat with your daughter and be honest you are scared. Keep safe Ali

Hi C C

What a difficult decision and only one that you can make!

Will you need to replace your daughter’s help with someone else or can you manage on your own? If you would need another carer the risk will still be there.

Last March I cancelled my cleaner and self isolated as my husband was shielding. Come September my daughter needed some help with child care for my grandson (she is a single parent) so we offered to do a couple of hours twice a week. She was already paying out for breakfast club every morning and after school club three nights a week. Wrap around care is so expensive.

In December my daughter caught Covid and both my husband and I quickly followed. My husband has COPD and his breathing was extremely difficult but he remained at home. I collapsed and was blue lighted into resus and remained in hospital for several days on oxygen and steroids. It does seem to have exacerbated my right side weakness.

There are no easy answers. As both my daughters are teachers sadly we have decided not to see them.

However we have had to restart our cleaner as we are not well enough to cope ourselves! She does wear a mask and gloves and we shut ourselves in a separate room. We have to do that anyway as she is terrified of our King Charles spaniel! So still exposing ourselves to some risk.

We count ourselves very lucky that we both survived.

Sue

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Does she want to keep on coming to your house to make sure you’re o.k or does she rely on the £39 ?

She can make sure you’re o.k by phoning you regularly.

If she needs the money I’d give her the £39 and ask her to do the weekly shopping for you - leaving the bags at your door.

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I have decided to furlough her. i think she will struggle doing 16 hrs a week in in her new job, and then me for 3 hours, which i hasten to add I can live without.

I decided the risk is too great. I know now of 4 care workers who have children who have got covid, the risk is high no idea why but like SUE said why throw away all my precautions now for my daughter to come to me, and sit and talk and take up a bit of rubbish i can do on my wheelchair.

I will pay her its never been about the money. ALTHOUGH my friends think its a bit rich she charges her own mother to help her out.

THANK YOU ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR INPUT. I really appreciated your help and it did help me make a decision.

GO SAFE. xxxxx

Morning Crazy Chick,

Difficult decisions have to be made so you stay safe, just hope your daughter understands.

I’m in a similar situation but haven’t been self isolating, just being super careful.

I have a cleaner, who is also a carer, not mine. I need her to change sheets, take rubbish out, vacuum etc as I really can’t do it myself.

She only comes once a fortnight for two hours and I make sure I’m out when she comes. As she’s a carer she now gets tested every week, which is reassuring.

We’ll get through this, I hope but things will never be the same again.

Take care

Jen

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