And they they were, under a pile of unopened post all the time!
I am so glad.
AD, your avatar does look like someone on whom it is starting to dawn that the re-run of 'The Simpsons' that he thought he was watching is, in fact, the US Presidential Election.
I'm sticking to hosiery, myself.
Never!!! I didn't think you'd be the type of man to lose your socks. Your towel maybe! Never socks.
I'm beginning to think that AD is a socks maniac!
My grandfather used to say, "You can always tell a gentleman by his socks."
He could often be seen, on the town hall roof, wearing nothing but his socks, after closing time. He always stood for Ladies in public lavatories,
Take after Grandad do you Ant?
Time to take your mind off Grandpa's socks cocks and loo's with a view.
Lets think of something more topical. Do you think they will ever add a rock carving of Donald Trump - amongst the other US presidents on Mount Rushmore - Black Hills National Forest - South Dakota. He will insist on it being gold-plated.
Given the problems involved in carving the original four, the time it took and the cost (even without gold plating), the answer should be no.
Which probably means that it will happen.
The idea of having his head on Mount Rushmore is probably what has driven him to stand for president. His hair will be made from spun gold!!
And l bet Donald Trump does not lose any socks. He puts a brand new pair on everyday and his pre-worn ones are donated to a 'Thrift Shop'.
Trumps socks are probably made from spun gold.
No: 2 Look at diary for today's appointments. You've got to remember where you put it though!
Good spot Florence. Ten points to you.
And congratulations to everyone, as this thread has passed the 100 mark for contributions. Good work and keep it up. I'll be in touch with the Guinness Book of Records first thing Monday.
Readers who subscribe to the Sunday Times will be interested in Mrs Mills' column and her views on socks. This debate is going national!
Albrecht the Indefatigable.
(thanks to brandy and amantadine hydrochloride)
I'm becoming more concerned about your sock mania AD.
Is the letter to Mrs Miles actually from you?
Have you adopted the pseudonym, 'LL'?
Are you about to start wearing pop socks under your everyday socks? (Note the earlier discussion about the sexiness or otherwise of the pop sock!)
And in any case, if you can't actually find any socks, is the question of holes in them of any relevance?
Plus, should we all be concerned about your general mental health? If you can't keep control of your socks, should we become concerned about other missing items from your wardrobe? Do you find yourself losing for example, gloves, hats, cravats, Wellington boots, string vests and/or other essential items of a gentlemans attire?
have I missed a bit? I have been visiting my Aunty Dorothy today who is 90 bless, she is a Mrs Miles.
Yes, I want to know where all the sets of glasses go and who moves them in the other rooms during the night. I would also like to know why the heck a certain specs shops cannot manage to incorporate three types of lens into one pair of glasses and assure me it is my fault that I cannot read anything for holding my book in the wrong place phhhhhh phhhhhh! It's all very testing. Why is it in the world that we get prescribed these pairs of glasses and still end up using the previous ones because they are the only things we can see through?
I got out of my brain fog on Monday and drove early to my appointment at said opticians with a very gurgling anger inside me to carefully state my case. Nearly 50 minutes later I was still stuck on the bendy road with about a thousand other people all trying to get to the opticians I think so I didn't get there.
Sorry for the extra confusion, I meant Mrs Mills not Miles. My stupid fingers wanted to get in on the obfuscation act.
But I do get your point about those accursed opticians who only add to the brain fog.
I had a major brain fog moment on Saturday. We were at our local supermarket, walking along the covered way from the disabled parking to the entrance. A car turned the corner at the end of the covered way and I expected it to make another turn and drive at us. The fact that there wasn't room for that to happen didn't occur to me.
I own a car and have a clean driving licence, but don't drive much. If I'm going to suffer brain fog like that, it's probably just as well!
Another brain fog moment yesterday. We have heaters in two rooms and we use them when we don't want to turn on the central heating. The heaters have remote controls, so I don't even have to get up to turn them on. Yesterday I couldn't understand why the heater wouldn't switch on. Then I realised that I was pointing the remote control at the television!
Oh thank you Cheerful Dragon, made me laugh out loud and put a whole new spin on my Thursday.
Yesterday I took my iPad, mobile and book over to the corner where we keep all the charging gear, plugged in the iPad to charge, plugged in the mobile and then then tried to plug in the book. Guess what? Real books do not, in fact, have charging ports and nor do they need them.
My brain on the other hand could do with a charging port, but unfortunately it does not have one either.
That made me laugh. Like Sue, I have a Kindle, which does have a charge port. I also have loads of books, but I don't think I've ever tried to charge one.
As for a personal charging port, there was a TV series called Andromeda where one of the characters had something called a neural port for interfacing with computers. Perhaps we could use one of those to give ourselves a quick boost when we need one.
I plug in the appropriate gadgets OK, and my books do have a charging point as they are on my Kindle. However, I'm starting to wonder what the point of reading is as I can't remember the plot of anything. I've spent my life reading and can remember the plots of lots of books that I read 20 plus years ago, but last year? No chance. If it's a series of books, I have to read at least the previous one in the series, before I can follow a new book.
Still, I think eventually I won't have to ever buy another book. I'll just start them all over again. There'll be a rolling sequence so in January maybe I'll read all of one authors books from the beginning, then in February it'll be the next authors turn and so on.
So now I'm off to read the Peter James book that came out last year, which I read then, but can't remember now. Then I should be able to read the latest one. I was about to start a few books further back in the series but couldn't be bothered, and now I'm wondering 'when did X character die?' And 'what happened to Y character?' Not to mention 'who on Earth is Z?'
Same here. I have become a very cheap date as far as book go - whodunnit comes as a surprise however many times I have read it before. Like a goldfish swimming round and round in a bowl, thinking, 'Oh look, it's a castle!' with every circuit.
I have solved this problem by only using colouring books. Although it doesn't go down so well at the library.
That's likely to be my next choice of 'reading' matter. So long as no one ever checks that I'm managing to stay in the lines, I should be OK. Also, I'm not sure how that will work on a Kindle.
You can learn how to keep it in the lines by glueing aluminium foil on the parts that don't need colouring and then wiring the page up to the mains. You'll be staying between the lines before you can say "What's that funny smell?"
Brain fog: making a pot of tea, warming the pot and putting the electric kettle on the teapot stand instead of the kettle's electric stand.
More brain fog: doing a row of knitting, realising that I should have increased on that row, unpicking it and finding that I hadn't been on the increase row after all! I'm not going to do any more knitting today.
PS: I wish the PIP assessor could see me today. I'd show her hand tremors and cognitive problems. She obviously doesn't understand about variable conditions.
Today, fog rules and tremor is a pain so had a non-active day of reading and re-reading the same bits because I too forget what the heck I have just read, stayed in my wonderful bag fat pant white sack up spuds thermals and wazzed up some strawberries, other berries, apples and a bit of honey and shoved it down my cake hole. So not too bad a day.
Tomorrow I am ignoring the fog and going out to kick some! I'm going to put a post it note in my bag for each hour so I can remember where the heck I thought I might be going and what on earth I thought I would also be doing. Nanoo.
We, the MS community of Great Britain, salute you.
P.S. If anyone spots Hebe wandering about, please put her in a taxi and return to the address written on a post-it note inside her handbag. Thanks.
Thank you, good day today, did my exercises, went to specsavers without getting lost and took my nice new specs and told them what a bag of pants the old pair were.
ps can't carry a handbag anymore due to the increasing dropsy ho ho. I've gpt a 'strap on' bag that goes over a shoulder, much more efficient.
Enjoyed today, big pills in a min and ready for a crap day tomorrow.
Brain fog: getting up to take my cup into the kitchen, going to the kitchen and wondering what I went there for. I'd left the cup behind!
Brain fog: forgetting to display my blue badge in a disabled parking bay. One parking ticket later, I am falling upon the 'mercy' of the parking charge enforcers in a bid to have them recognise brain fog. I fully expect to have my plea rejected and to be required to pay the fine!
Here at the Research Unit of the Fool & Bladder Institute we are conducting a study of Brain Fog and have come to a startling conclusion.
Scientists, working round the clock, have discovered a connection between environmental factors and Brain Fog. Research is still in it's early stages; however many professionals who specialise in the area of Brain Fog,or BF as it's called, are convinced that a major cause of BF is linked to the question, "Who's round is it?"
We studied a group of the 36 'regulars' at the institute by dividing them in two groups. One would ask the question, "Who's round is it?" when their glasses were empty, while the control group would be given free replacement drinks when they had finished their last one.
The figures are still being crunched as we need to sort out anomalies such as volunteers sneaking out of Group 1 to join those in Group 2 and volunteers in Group 2 collapsing (passing out) too often to be of any practical use to the study. However initial expectations are high as we get closer to the festive season of Goodwill and Cirrhosis. Our resident gastroenterologist and BF specialist, Eva Lookatatthisone-Nurse, predicts that a definition, produced as a result of this research will, someday, become a significant contributing factor of the MacDonald Criteria.
Dr Lookatthisone-Nurse said, " I'ved done avout ash much as sanywone could do - whersh my vodka - I feel sick.", before falling over in a deep, and doubtless, well deserved sleep.
It's personal commitment and self sacrifice like this that is an inspiration to us all.
Albrecht Durer (Wines & Spirits and science Correspondent)
Incredible news. Well done to all the trial participants and three cheers for Dr Lookatthisone-nurse.
I'm sure we all feel humbled by such self sacrifice.
And well done to you AD for bringing it to our attention (twice - were you personally involved in the study?)
Then there are those of us who don't drink, but still suffer brain fog. I understand that there are no plans to investigate our problems because it's not as much fun.
Interesting report, I also think that apart from our 'normal' brain fog that we experience by the sound of it, that there is also the category of 'big pill' brain fog which adds to mine but from a personal point of view, I don't really care if the big pills add to the brain fog or if it is a different sort of brain fog as long as I can still keep having my big pills. Also concluding from my children's point of view that I have brain fog cause I still live in 'that funny place' (sadly no longer inhabited by previous individuals such as Tommy Porthole and Captain Birdseye and the lady who runs round banging on the bins).
Proud to have fought it all today and attended a funeral/cremation, in the right town, at the right time although I nearly gate crashed a previous funeral due to the urgent need to go to the small room after racing down the M6, which strangely apparently was completely empty except for myself and a lorry. I think there was an accident at Knutsford so for about 12 miles, my car and the lorry travelled on our own on three lanes, without another vehicle in sight in front or behind. It was almost like the 70s.
The lovely lady whose husband has just died, is the warmest kindest person. She sometimes says things wrong. Her daughter told me that they went to see her husband at the funeral home and she was concerned he was cold. Then said 'Oh it'll be alright, he'll be warmed up on Monday!'
I was asked if I was being supported for the day, I replied yes thank you, I have a good stick prescribed by the NHS and some big pills for after the pub. Mmm I think the big pill theme might suggest a small life change before long.
I find Mondays are good for brain fog as the extended amount of soaps on the tele enable a good meltdown of no-thoughts and usually enabling a very good refreshed brain on a Tuesday.
I love the idea of the big pills. Especially the big pills for after the pub. Links in very well to the original clinical trial.
Not that The Institute would condone mixing alcohol (except Pale Amontillado Sherry, which deserves everything that's coming to it) with any prescription medication, but if anyone would like to share their experiences/experiments, one of the lab techies here is always on the lookout for the next legal high. Look out for his website foolingfeelish@fool+bladder.ac.uk and join in the fun. He tells me.
Fool & Bladder
Strangely I have only had five alcoholic drinks all this year and the day of the funeral I rather fancied a tall cinzano rosso (takes of the 70s) with lots of lemonade and other things thrown in. I think it was an emotional response as the do was in a pub I used to go in when I was a lot younger and you either managed to get hold of cinzano rosso or a bottle of bulmers from the take out cubby hole by some poor sap who felt sorry for us hanging about the outdoor begging people to get us a bottle.
Failing that it was the chip shop and home for a rather lengthy denial of any chip involvement.
Why don't mushy peas taste the same? They were so good then.
Wednesday - woke up, no brain fog! This should be interesting. I have asked a gardener to come and do some work as there are things I can't do. The garden is white over and frozen to a crisp. Oh well, I'm sure he can maul stuff about and take other stuff away.
Hope everybody is ok today, the cold is making me body feel like I've been on the lottery wheel. Time for a big pill and to call pip pip to all the blackbirds.
oh and yes, the bladder paid for one single drink. Still paying now.
I wish the woman from Capita could see me on an average day. I'd show her cognitive issues, aka brain fog. (And the hand tremors, memory lapses and other things she claimed that I didn't exhibit.)
I've spent all day thinking it was Thursday. I'd dragged the wheelie bin halfway round to the front before I realised that the bin collection isn't for another two days.
Then I had to drag it all the way back.
I'm going to have to do it all over again tomorrow.
Gosh you are spoilt, a bin collection where the bins are actually collected! I've had some enjoyable discussions lately with the council after requesting a little bit of help with my bins, which resulted in my bins not being collected at all. So after the last phone call when I asked them if on their council map my house was the Bermuda triangle of bin collection, the bin collections have started again.
No brain fog all day yesterday it was quite wonderful, apart from the gardener, who seems to have had a personality transplant and used to be helpful, ended up quoting me between 500 and 800 pounds for a bit of dirt and stuff to be dug up and removed and some simple slabs put down. Phht, phht so after a cup of tea and long chat and list of things it would involve, I thanked him politely for coming said I would think about it, then shut the door and uttered my most favourite word, t---er. It seems now he has an expensive dog and a 'hunting' habit, that this ridiculous quote might have helped him with his hobby. I was so angry it was burning inside me and I will find an alternative even if I have to trowel 500 grams of dirt into a plastic bag every day for two years and put it in a bag to dump in the town litter bin. Ways and means people ways and means.
I think I love you. Favourite word being t---er! Mine is arse!
I hope you stroked your chin whilst saying you'd think about his ridiculous quote.
And I would probably have written a long boring letter to the head of the outsourced rubbish collection 'service' which replaced the council refuse department. But no doubt your phone call was the better action. Sometimes my letters seem to annoy people. I don't know why.
Also well done to you for telling AD he is spoilt. Honestly, Port Salute and Rocqufort. Together? At once? Next he'll be telling us he eats Gorgonzola too.
I am having a very well deserved day of brain fog. I've had to give up on today's crossword because I didn't understand quite a few of the clues, let alone manage to solve any of them. Plus, I just had to look up the spelling of Rocqufort. Twice. I'm thinking of going back to bed quite soon.
We have to keep our standards Sue - so please write out 100 times ROCQUEFORT.
lt's one of my favourites - but l am following The Coimbra Protocol - so to keep calcium levels down l have to go Dairy Free [and gluten free - which does help with brain fog and fatigue].
All the B vits help with memory and brain fog/fatigue. B12/Riboflavin/Thiamine/Niacin/ Biotin. Omega 3 and many others.
I don't know quite how I managed to look it up and STILL spell the damn word wrong. Twice.
Thanks for that.
Going for a little snooze now.
Maybe the brain will work a bit better later.
It would be OK if it wasn't such an essential word to ones vocabulary, along with all other cheeses. Which I obviously can't even remember the names of right now never mind spell them.
Yesterday I had a number of consecutive episodes of brain fog. One of them involved repeated attempts to take a small pile of clothes into the bedroom. When I found myself heading downstairs with them *for the second time* I got so frustrated and desperate that I almost broke down and cried.
Still, at least I managed to finish my mandatory reconsideration letter. I had an appointment with the dentist today, so I didn't even have to make a special trip to post the letter as the post office is on the way to the dentist.
Dear Cheerful Dragon, me thinks you just need your own special word that is suitable for all occasions (but spoken quietly if needed in company or in a situation) or even thought about someone whilst at the same time, giving them a delightful comment.