Worried for my sister

Caring for someone with MS
1

Hi all,

My sister was diagnosed with MS 10 years ago, when she told the family, I don’t think any of us really fathomed the weight of what this meant.

About 5 years ago she moved to another part of the UK with her then husband and son. She has since separated from her husband and now lives alone with her 8 year old son.

She tells us from time to time that she has had a relapse, describes her symptoms, and then she seems to be OK again. However, over the last year she has had a number of relapses, they seem to be getting more frequent and harder for her to cope with. She recently had COVID which really hit her hard, bringing back many of her previous symptoms. She described her situation as one in which she was unable to care for her son properly, unable to work, cook meals or do housework.

Her ex-husband lives very nearby and I always felt a little less worried about her as she has him so close, but I am beginning to worry more and more about her on a day-to-day basis and wish she was closer so I could support her properly and not just over the phone.

Whilst she has people nearby who can help, I don’t think this is going to enough for much longer and I can see that how much help she needs will get more and more as time passes.

I don’t know much about the support available and what that looks like, or if maybe I am overreacting. I’m not really sure what response I am even asking for but if anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

I want to be able to be there for her, but I can’t as she is so far away.

Thanks for listening.

2

Has your sister had or is getting any help from social care?

This could be the place to start.

Ring the local authority of wherever she is living, they should know,

good luck

3

Thank you for replying and the advice.

No she isn’t getting any help at the moment. I guess I need to start by having a conversation with her about my concerns and see if she will consider asking for help. It’s hard to know what is best, as a lot of the time she is OK, but then can have a terrible few days out of nowhere. Living alone with a young child I think is an added factor in the importance of making sure she has some support available when she needs it.

Does anyone know of situations where support can be available ad-hoc like this, as she doesn’t need it everyday, just when she is having a relapse?

4

I really think that making contact with social care will help.

At least things like PIP always ask if you have a social care contact.

She doesn’t need them to help immediately but if the time comes when she really does need help at least the ball will already be rolling.

You are a kind and thoughtful sister and she must certainly appreciate that.

5

Hi, I can imagine how frightening it is for you, when your sis tells you about her situation.

Does her ex have the son to stay sometimes?

I have PPMS and have carers coming in twice a day, plus I live with my hubby of 49 years.

Maybe she would think about having care if you broach the subject.

Boudsx