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'Giving up'

So, I have ‘given up’. I care for my Mum who has SPMS, diagnosed in 2002. Since the beginning of November, she has had two suspected infections and has been experiencing a cognitive decline that we are unsure is MS related. Aside from this side of things, Mum is now chair-bound, and needs help with almost all tasks. It’s just Mum and I - no immediate family or friends who are close by. All our support from friends is given over the phone, because of the pandemic. I am also trying to complete my degree - I was doing really well last year, but my grades have slipped because of everything that is going on.


I was able to cope with the physical side of things, but the mental aspects have been hard. After sleepless nights, frustration, fear and upset, I have reached out for more support in the home and I have also told my doctor about my mental state. I feel as if I have failed and given up. I am absolutely dreading sorting everything out in regards to putting care in place, especially whilst juggling exams and deadlines, but I am trying to see the positive side of things. I am looking forward to leaving the house for more than 10 minutes without worrying that Mum is not safe. I am looking forward to Mum having more simulation, and hopefully picking up a bit.


I am not sure what the point of this post is, but just felt that I needed to get this out of my system/off my chest.



I hope you have all had a lovely Christmas and New Year. x


Aww you sound exhausted physically and emotionally
don't know how you have continued this far with all this juggling.

Now is time for you and your mum to have your needs met apart, assess what is , needed for you both so that you can regroup.

AND you wish us all a merry Christmas too hid bless you.
Please, don't give up. You need a break what a wonderful daughter xx


Thank you so much - best wishes x 

Hello, you have done the right thing in seeking care for your mum other than doing it all yourself.

I`ve been receiving care from PAs and agencies, with my hubby being the main one, for many years.

I`ve just engaged a new agency and they start on Saturday. I have a total of 27 hours and 2 sleeps a week.

Your mum will be glad you can return to your studies in a more refreshed way.

Please dont see this as giving in. You are not...not at all. You are doing your best and that is admirable.

I hope your grades improve and you get the most out of life you can.

Take care sweetheart.


I have MS

Hi love, well my heart goes out to you, what a great responsability you have.....I too have spms and my husband is my full time carer, its a hard job for anyone, but for you being so young and trying to do exams it must be awful.  You've done right to ask for help and also telling your GP about your mental health, that's a very good thing to have done. Your mum is so lucky to have you, I'm sure she reaslises this, take care love, chin up.

Jean x