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Caring for my mother

Hi my name is Lily and I'm 17 years old. I have never been able to talk to someone else my age about my experiences so I can relate to them. I'm feeling particularly lonely at the moment and am struggling to stay upbeat and positive for my mom because everyone around me is negative and depressed at home. If anyone could put me in touch with someone that they know who's my age in a similar situation with their parents I would be so so grateful. :)

Hi lily i was a young carer to my mum also i was 15/16 at the time, there was a scheme called young carers im not sure if its still going though as was many years ago iam now 38. If your mum has an MS nurse could be worth asking them or your gp maybe, surely they know of charities to help young carers.

i know how hard it is believe me it felt like i lost my mum at such a young age growing up as i had to do everything for her and myself cooking ,cleaning ,making dinner ,school and it feels like your alone. 

hope this helps in some way keep your chin up.

Hayley

Hi Lily, it must be so hard for you at such a tender age, to be worried about all this stuff.

Are you your mum`s sole carer? You do need a different shoulder to lean on. Have you tired Social Services?

Boudsx

Hi Lily,

Another thing you could try is to see if you have the Next Door services in your area ? This is a new neighbourhood connection service online - it has started in my area (south east london) and i imagine it is something that has been created in other counties in the UK.

You register for free and it provides everything from local trusted firms being recommended by people locally to householders offering things for sale and local police giving updates on their initiatives. 

People can easily post a comment online as you have done here to which others reply and you might then find similar young people in your area who are in the same position as you, in terms of being a young carer to their parents and you could then potentially get in contact, knowing they were local and in the same boat as you. 

When we first dealt with my wife's diagnosis for MS and I was her carer, we didn't know anyone and we got in touch with a young persons' MS group and we went to weekly meetings for young people with MS and their carers, and we were members for about 5-6 years. I found that useful and I certainly felt not so alone, being able to share things with other carers and knowing my wife could meet other carers and local people with MS of our age group, too. I can't remember how we found the group initially - it was either through social services/local council or me finding the details of an MS group in London and then finding from there the local young persons' MS group in Bromley. Hope that helps.

Best,

Matt

 

Hi Lily, how are you?

Bouds

Hi Lily, 

 

My first time posting on here. It would be great to connect with you. My mum also suffers from MS, I am 24 now but was 15ish when she was diagnosed. I really struggled with it when I was 17/18 and at college, and still struggle with it now. 

 

I also know no one else similar to age and have never found anyone else in the same position as me, even though I knew there must be people out there!

 

It would be great to chat and discuss what it's like to live/ grow up with a mum with MS and finally be able to speak to someone who understands!! 

 

Feel free to send me a message! :) 

Anonymous

Hi Lily and Hayley,

I'm 22 and I just searched this forum for the first time tonight.

I dont have anyone in my life who I can speak to about it. I dont have any wish to speak to my friends, I dont see any point, they have very healthy parents who are able to be there for them and do everything for them, I guess deep down there is a bit of resentment there lol!

I know what you mean about the house being negative and depressing, thats the reason I searched for this tonight because it was really getting me down. 

So yeah, ye are not alone, feel free to message someone who knows how you feel <3 

It can feel quite lonely. Since Lily posted this message I have found a few people on this community that are similar ages to us and living/ caring for a mum with MS. It has been a great help. 

 

Feel free to send me a message!! smiley

Hey! 
this is the first time I have used this community page.

i am 25 with a mum that's had ms for nearly 21 years I have been here main carer since I was 12/13, I have never really reached out to any one or to try speak with people that understand until now as I have dealt with this from a young age mainly on my own. Really looking to find people to talk with as things have become a struggle for me over the last couple of years ☺️

Hope you young carers can boost each other to keep going.

Do you get any input from Social Services or Carers groups?

Boudsx

all of you young carers can create your own network via private messaging on this forum.

One such friend of mine gave me her email address this way and we have riotously funny conversations.

We are ancients of 62 and 57 so just imagine how wild your conversations could be.

laughheart