A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas
Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your
mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says.
“We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like
hell they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are
NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m
calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow.Until then,
don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re
coming for Christmas and they’re paying their own way.”
Here’s another laugh ( true). Last weekend, husband went off for three nights to watch cricket, so home alone on Saturday afternoon, I decided to phone an old friend for a natter. Got my iPad, address book, phone and flask of tea to sit in the garden - loaded all into the Rollator and set off through the patio doors to the garden. One step, two step and there I am, arse over tip as they say, in a flower bed. Managed to struggle onto the patio and after half an hour of heaving and shuffling, realised I wasn’t going to get up. Phoned 111. Nice lady asked if I had a blanket. Told her I had a flask of tea and all necessities. Long story short, two hours later, no sign of assistance ( live in very rural area) I managed to get myself as far as the house and solid furniture to haul myself up with. Managed to head off the medics, then had a large glass of wine to recover. But the good thing is that I now know about a special response team that comes with an inflatable cushion so have that for next time(!). Blimey, you have to laugh at yourself or you’d just jump off the pier.
I can certainly identify with trying to get up after a fall. It can only be cured by laughter and wine. My OT actually sorted a lifting cushion for me to use at home-it works.
Thanks, guys! Spectacular bruise on hip, but no damage - oh, and some huge bites in intimate places from early evening insects, to add to the fun…haven’t told husband, or he’d never go away again! Have now got some half-steps off the internet so hope that makes it easier to get in and out. Good tip about a blow up cushion for home use, too.
Goodness Lynda that sounds a right ordeal. I dread falling outside. I have been doing my exercises for core strength but I still have to find out how effective they are.
My husband finished the patio at the weekend and we had a lovely day on Monday sitting on our new bench. The sun was shining. Whoop! Whoop! But now it’s back to rain.
Now I’m having a moan. Don’t you just hate it when people keep telling you how stoical/brave/ positive you are, and aren’t you amazing, how cheerful you are, when inside you are just screaming with frustration all the time, feeling cheated and frightened about the future because nobody can or will tell you how rapidly you will deteriorate. Story, just having a bad time, and nobody ‘gets it’ if they don’t have it.
Thanks, so true! My sons are both married (31 and 35) but I still try to protect them from life’s nasties! Basically, as there is no magic wand to make things un-happen, it only spreads the woe around, so I do try to keep it to myself. Anyway, went yesterday to look at riser-recliner chairs - horribly expensive, but horribly tempting. It’s getting to be such a struggle to stand up from an armchair, even with a booster cushion. and the sun hs come back, so feeling cheerier! Thanks again.
Have a word with your OT about a riser recliner first, before you spend the money, as they can get you one, and also it will be a better fitting one, so more comfortable.
If you don’t have an OT, ask your GP or MS nurse to refer you.
Hi Pam l will have to have a word with my ot when we get moved about a chair legs are playing up she has given me a footup splint ties into my shoe strap ? dont no giving it a try take care all jan xxxx